FC Speaks!

Ok, this is probably going to be the only time I will ever talk about this publicly, so once it is done, if you miss it, too bad.

I am getting a ton of emails asking me why my ex and I broke up, and why I have no chosen to leave DemocraticUnderground.com. I can't be bothered repeating it again and again and again, so this post is it.

Why did we break up? She would probably tell you inconceivable differences. I won't be so heartless as to put it that way. I will just say, distance played a huge part in it (something she will never admit to), on top of that I will say scorpions and a vulture.

Why am I leaving DU? The answer is simple. She is now seeing someone else from DU. I don't want to see a repeat performance of a certain triangle with caused major disruption on DU a year or two ago, that lead to three people being TS'd. And so this is the last gift my ex will ever receive from me. Her membership will remain intact, unless she loses it herself.

Why am I humiliated and giving up? This may turn out to be long. Earlier this year a situation happened away from DU. I was not around to witness it, but did hear about it through the grape vine. This situation ultimately lead my ex back to talking to me, after months of silence.

She knew I wanted nothing more than to have her back properly, and was willing to try and work through our problems in order to get back on track. Next thing you know, (after several attempts to find out for myself after hearing some rumors through the grape vine) I am getting told from her that she is now with another.

The moment I read that, I was devastated, heart broken all over again, and very humiliated.

I feel like she made a total fool out of me. I am angry because of the cruel way she worded her announcement to me. And now, I am completely broken.

I gave her my total and complete heart. No matter what wrongs she ever did (and there have been a few) I was still in love with her (still am.) When I broke up with her a few years back, she wanted a second chance with me, I gave her that, and for her to do this to me without any chances given to me, has left me not willing to give my heart out again.

Sensing things weren't right with her at a point last year, I was willing to give her the freedom she may have needed in order to help save us from losing one another. That lead to her having doubts about my feelings for her, believing that I had my eye on another. That wasn't the case at all. 7 years ago I met the one person God had created for me. There was never any other person in my eye, but her. As far as I was concerned I had the best, and didn't need anything or anyone else, because she completed me.

And now, I don't have the money, knowledge, or power to fight for her. All I can do is give up and walk away. That doesn't mean I will ever forget her, I won't, because someone like that you never forget. It just means that I have no way of fighting for the woman I love more than life itself, with a distance of 8,000 miles between us.

There has been a lot of speculation about what happened between us, and really it is no one's business except for us (that includes the thing she is with now.) But I felt because we had a very public relationship that found us having not just a few enemies, but a lot of people who really supported us, and were praying for us to find a way, that the least once of us could do is say a few words.